Integration Begins Within: Stop Chasing Shadows, Start Coming Home

Spirituality| Self leadership| Psychology| Philosophy| Thought provoking

June 04, 2025•4 min read

Integration Begins Within: Stop Chasing Shadows, Start Coming Home

URL: /integration-self-deception-projection-awareness

We all long for wholeness, peace, and connection - but so often, we look for those things out there while something in here remains fragmented.

In this blog post, we take the next step in the integration journey. We’ll explore how our mind plays tricks on us through self-deception and how we chase projections of our disowned parts in others - until we learn the art of containment within.

To ground this deeply human experience, we’ve included a simple, heartfelt poem you can return to whenever you feel lost in the fog of triggers, idealisation, or self-abandonment.

Let’s step back from the chase… and come home.

Why Integration Requires Radical Self-Honesty

Healing isn’t just about soothing pain - it’s about facing the ways we hide from ourselves. And that’s where integration gets real.

Self-deception often sounds like:

“If they’d just change, I’d be okay.”
“I’m not angry, I just don’t care.”
“This person is everything I’ve ever needed.”
“That person is toxic - I’m nothing like them.”

But when we slow down, we start to notice the parts of us we’re not willing to meet. And those parts don’t disappear. They show up in our relationships, our reactions, and our pain stories. Until we integrate them.

Projection: The Mirror We Mistake for a Monster

Projection happens when we disown a part of ourselves - our rage, tenderness, creativity, neediness, independence - and then see it in someone else. We either cast it out (judgment) or chase it down (idealisation).

Without realising it, we fall in love with our own lost parts… or demonise them in others.

This is the core of what Jung meant by “shadow work.” Until we bring our shadows home, they rule our lives from the unconscious.

✨ Containment means saying: “This reaction belongs to me. I’ll hold it, learn from it, and integrate it.”

Poem: “The Mirror and the Flame”

You chased her love like it would save you,
But it was just your own warmth you craved.
You cursed his silence, his armor, his pride -
But it was your own voice you never forgave.

You called them cold, too much, or unkind,
But their faces were masks for the parts you’d declined.
You ran from the mirror, believing it flawed,
Not seeing it was your reflection you saw.

You projected the flame, and then feared the fire,
Not knowing the heat was your buried desire.
You tried to contain it by casting it out,
But the wound only deepens when wrapped in doubt.

Integration is not about fixing the skin -
It’s learning to sit with the fire within.
It’s holding the ache when it knocks at your door,
And choosing to feel what you once tried to ignore.

So next time you run from a lover, a friend,
Or label someone else the reason you bend -
Pause, breathe, return to the center again:
This feeling is yours. Let it rise. Let it mend.

Containment Over Control

Containment doesn’t mean bottling things up. It means creating a safe inner container - like a bowl that holds soup. A place where emotions can exist without exploding, suppressing, or leaking into others.

In this container:

You recognise your triggers as teachers.
You meet your shame with curiosity, not collapse.
You reclaim your energy from the past and return to the present.

Integration is not a one-time event - it’s a daily practice of meeting yourself honestly.

Integration Tools: From Shadow to Self-Leadership

To begin containing and integrating your inner experience, try these tools:

🔍 Mirror Work

Stand in front of a mirror and look into your own eyes. Speak kindly and truthfully to yourself. This helps build self-awareness and reduce projection.

Try saying:
"Whatever I’m searching for in others, I offer to myself first."

📓 Shadow Journaling

When you’re emotionally triggered, ask:

What do I see in this person that I dislike or crave?
When have I acted like this?
What part of me is trying to speak right now?

Learn more: What Is the Shadow Self and How Do You Work With It?

🌀 Somatic Grounding

Use your body to help contain your emotional energy.

Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6.
Say, “I am safe to feel this.”

Explore: Nervous System Regulation Techniques for Emotional Healing

Let Go of the Chase - Come Back to the Core

When you stop chasing shadows, blaming others, or needing someone to rescue you - you reclaim enormous energy. That energy becomes presence. Creativity. Love. Leadership.

Integration is how you stop scattering your soul and start living from center.

🧭 You’re not broken.
You’re becoming whole.